Bill the Belabourer

I wrote this piece as part of a writing workshop. We were asked to write the anti-thesis of our wild, creative self. I discovered that my "doubter" is a socially-conscious conformist named "Bill the Belabourer". Here are his words about my choice to write creatively...

There is a self in me who doesn’t want me to be me. He tells me my pursuits are boring. I have nothing of true interest to share and no one will want to listen to it anyways. Besides, no one will be able to relate with my words and they will end up in a vacuum of wasted time and energy. I've named this part of me Bill the Belabourer and he works actively for good causes.

He says “you’re inferior – your life is almost over, you have to earn a living and secure your income. Who the heck are you to be pursuing writing while people are suffering with obligations of bills and blowing kids’ noses. What a snobby and arrogant profession you’ve chosen – believing you somehow know better or have better things to say than someone else – who are you to make your voice soooo important to actually write it and make other people endure your words? And all the trees you’re hurting by writing 1^st drafts, 2^nd drafts, 3^rd drafts, 4^th drafts – how so very self-indulgent of you in this world of environmental degradation. You have so many other more important things to do for humanity – why bother doing something like write – do you really think it’s going to go anywhere? 

If you don’t win any prizes or make a big name for yourself than you have done nothing of a contribution and rather you are just being a selfish, insular slob who conveniently drops out of society.  Imagine that! You actually believe you can be happy, fulfilled, creative and not have to suffer like the rest of us! Well I’m going to protest that and make you join our collective cause of mutual misery. How dare you laugh and smile around others who have been tortured, brutalized, maimed and forgotten! Instead you’re throwing away your privilege of living in a free country and doing something flighty and flippant like “writing poetry”.  Good grief! At least just sign a petition now and then. Please? Or better yet, why don’t you write about political issues instead of this mamsy-pansy, head-in- the clouds stuff. Now that’s what I call doing something with your words. What do you say, eh? I got a good contact with the Labour Board Communications department. Come on…let's get you going down the right direction...”